Bisexual people are plain selfish.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
