I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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