It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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