i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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