I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
