I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
well you can't waste a boner
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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