When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
