Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
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She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
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We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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