So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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