I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
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I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
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i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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