She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
