Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
