it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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