when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize