one word: firstdatebathroomanal
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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