There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize