I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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