96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
It's rum buckets o'clock
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
