i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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