i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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