Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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