talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I FOUND THE LEGS
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
