Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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