She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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