He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
