His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I smell stomach acid.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
