how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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