Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
