Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
