I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
