He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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