hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
This is my gift to your gina
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He did a backflip because drugs
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