Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
