Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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