how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
