dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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