I'm so fucking centered right now
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
