Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
vagina is talking i cant
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
