Just cropdusted the office
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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