You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
