Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
