you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
