I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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