We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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