My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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