Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
