I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I think people are normalizing furries
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