what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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