dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
