I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
how can u be prego again
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
