Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
