I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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