He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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