K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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