Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
