I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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