But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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