And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
