And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
