sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
