Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
