sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
