can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
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