why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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