Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
