My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Found the puke drawer
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
