Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
