all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
