When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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