her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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